Fear

My insides are screaming out for help

But when it reaches my throat

No sounds emerge

Dying inside

No where to hide

How do I move on with my life

Still in the past

Can’t see a future ahead

Stuck in the middle

Fear has taken me over

Fear has contained me

xoxo Mz Hollywood

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Waiting

Time is near

Yet you’re still not here

Starting to worry

But you’re in no hurry

I long to see you

I long to hold you

I’m just waiting

Waiting

Waiting

xoxo Mz Hollywood

Spring

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Sunshine

Rain

Beautiful flowers

Butterflies flying

Birds chirping

Cool breezes
 
 

Spring is here

My favorite time of year

Beautiful days

Magical nights

I embrace this season

I am one with this season

xoxo Mz Hollywood

National Poetry Month

In honor of this month being National Poetry Month each day, from now until the end of April, I will be posting my own original poems and/or poems from some of my favorite poets. I wish all my fellow poets a Happy National Poetry Month!

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Beauty of Self

To myself, I am inferior beyond belief

Because I have been conditioned to think negatively about me

I do not think I am beautiful in any way

And why should I

This skin complexion, body fat and natural hair

This is not appealing to any man

Media depicts beauty in a different way

When I look at the cover of magazines or instagram pics

Those who are seen as beautiful are the exact opposite of me

So why should I think I’m beautiful

It took me a while to understand that beauty is within

As long as I feel beautiful, then what society thinks is invalid

Because I am beautiful in my own way

There is a man who will one day think it too

XOXO Mz Hollywood

Final Day of Work!

As I am nearing the end of my pregnancy (37 wks 4 days as of this post) I have the next couple weeks to do my finishing touches on my nursery and relax and enjoy the last moments of my life without having a baby. With labor and delivery slowly approaching I am even more anxious and excited to go through this process and start my life as a new mom.

I had an amazing time on Friday, which was my last day of work, there was a St. Patricks Day/Going Away Party for me at my school with my students. After the work day was over a couple of my coworkers took me out to one of my favorite restaurants, Dixie Kitchen, and we enjoyed a great meal and girl talk!

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At Dixie Kitchen

I plan to spend time writing, working on new jewelry for my business Young Beautiful Fly  , in addition to putting up the baby’s bassinet and bed. The bassinet and bed is all I have left to finish up the nursery so I think I did pretty good with making sure that I was prepared for my baby girls arrival. I often sit in the room and look at all her stuff and go through the closet and look at her clothes and smell them just thinking about how much my life is going to change in an amazing way! As you can tell I am already, absolutely obsessed with my baby and she hasn’t even made it here yet. I have so many plans on things that we will do during the summer and I am so looking forward to that.

What Would You Do With $10 Million?

So lately a lot of people have been talking about what they would do if given 10 million dollars. Most people just want to buy a lot of material things. Yet there are some that don’t. So when pondering this question it took me about a good 30 minutes to come up with just about everything I would do with that amount of money.

So first thing first, I would put $2 million in a trust for my daughter. I would build my dream home and get my dream car. I would invest in my jewelry business so that I could reach more people and make more money. I would start my nonprofit organizations: One would be for women and children who are victims of domestic violence, helping them get the resources they need and to stay safe, and rebuild their lives; The other would be for underprivileged boys and girls to help them with staying focused in school, getting into college, learning about credit, learning housekeeping skills, money management, and having good mentors to help them stay off the streets and incarcerated and on a productive path in life. I would put money in savings. I would also invest in a business or two. Lastly, I would start a clothing line for children.

That is what I would do with all that money. I would secure a good future for my daughter and myself. I would build a legacy for her to continue after I have passed away from this earth.

What would you do with $10 million?!

Nesting… In Full Effect!

So those of you who are parents or have been around a pregnant woman knows what nesting is. But for those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, nesting is a serious condition for most if not all pregnant women.

So my nesting phase is in full effect! I’ll be 33 weeks in a couple days and I have already had my baby shower on February 3rd. I have washed all her clothes hung them up or folded them and put them in drawers. I have re-organized my room to make room for her. Cleaned, dusted, swept, mopped and re-organized the bookshelf and medicine cabinet. The only thing I have left to do is have her father put up the baby bed and the bassinet. Clearly you can tell that I have NOCD (Nesting Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I didn’t realize that this was such a real thing until just now. I have such a strong urge to do nothing but clean and get stuff ready for my baby girl. It’s so bad that I would rather not go to work so that I can clean and get things organized. Ridiculous I know!

I officially can no longer make fun of pregnant women and the weird things that they do and eat. I have undoubtedly become one of those women! Nesting for me is just so relaxing and calming. And you know what, I wouldn’t change it for anything or anyone. Although being pregnant has been a huge adjustment for me, I am absolutely and unequivocally loving it!

Oh My…

So it’s Monday again! If you live in or near Chicago you know that we had a ton of snow and schools were closed on Friday. Yay for a Snow Day for all the teachers (including myself)! I think we were happier than the kids.

So most of you all know that I’m pregnant. I’m a few days away from being 33 weeks. Time is just dragging for me these days. I just want to have my baby girl already!

I’m currently at work and I am just tired and not really wanting to be here. My family and friends told me that this day would come in my pregnancy where I just did not want to work anymore. I thought they were just exaggerating but… it’s really true!

This is totally how I am feeling. I have 4 more weeks until I go on maternity leave but I’m not sure if I’m going to make it. I have such a hard time just getting myself out of bed to come to work and finding any type of motivation to actually be here.

I guess I’m just ready to have my baby and begin this journey of being a mom. I really am looking forward to it!

I wonder how many of you have the Monday morning blues today?

It’s A …..

So I know that this post is extremely late but (drumroll please)….. it’s a girl!!!!!!! We were so happy to find out. We had been saying it’s a girl for a long time and so many people in our family and some friends were trying to say it was a boy. I had to keep telling them to get away from me with that male juju.

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This was only my second ultrasound, so it was awesome to see how much she had grown since I last saw her around my 6th week of pregnancy. She was moving around so much! I have completely falling in love with my baby girl. I’m so anxious and excited to finally get to meet her. My initial due date was 4/6/2018 but it was moved up by a couple days to 4/4/2018. So she went from being expected 5 days before my 30th birthday to a week before. I’m looking forward to this journey of raising my baby girl!!!!