Navigating the Co-Parenting World With a Newborn

download

When you have your first child and the father and yourself are not in a relationship you have to figure out how to properly co-parent. This can be a bit tricky and it is a serious learning process on top of getting into the swing of being a first time mom and dad. There are definitely some do’s and dont’s when it comes to co-parenting. Some things that were told to me before my baby girl arrived, I wish I would have taken it more seriously instead of thinking that everything would just work itself out once she got here. Being great co-parents without a lot of drama is definitely doable, but it takes both parents to be honest with themselves and what they want and expect from one another.

DO’S

One of the main things that you want to do when you are entering a co-parenting relationship is establish boundaries between you. Like if you are comfortable with the father spending the night over your house, and if so, how often. Setting a schedule for the days that each of you will have the baby. Will the baby spend every other weekend with dad or even every weekend, if you don’t have your own plans with the baby. You both should discuss the type of environment that you are and aren’t comfortable having your newborn in. I am not a smoker but my child’s father is and he knows that I do not want her in a room with cigarette smokers. We have a rule where when he smokes before he comes close to the baby he needs to take off the shirt that he smoked in and wash his hands, face and brush his teeth or put gum in his mouth. It’s also very important to keep each other updated on what is going on with the baby no matter how small it seems so that there is constant communication. Communication is the key to any type of relationship but it is especially important when co-parenting to raise your child in the best way possible.

DONT’S

You do not wan to be an ineffective communicator and not discuss what your rules, plans and expectations are for your baby. If you feel as though the father does not spend as much time as he should with the baby, don’t let it fester up inside you but have a calm conversation with him about it. Let him know that you would love to see him spend a little more time with the baby and develop a strong bond between the two of them. When you are angry with each other, never use the baby to control each other. The baby is the one that ends up suffering in the end. Do not be inflexible when it comes to how much time each of you are spending with the baby. It is important for both of you to spend as much time with the baby as possible.

download-1

ADVICE GIVEN TO ME

So before I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl a lot of my family and friends had advice for me and what I should do to begin my co-parenting relationship with her father. The most important advice was for us to always be honest in our communication with one another about how we are feeling and what we want for our baby. We agree on a lot of things when it comes to her daily care and well-being and how we plan to raise her. There are things that we don’t quite agree on but respect that we have a difference of opinion and try to come to a middle ground that works best for the both of us. We have similar but also different ways of caring for and parenting our little girl and that works for us.

This is just the beginning of my journey with co-parenting. I know that as long as we continue to communicate effectively, are honest with ourselves and each other, respect one another, and remain flexible we can rock this co-parenting relationship and our daughter will grow and flourish into an amazing woman!

 

Advertisements

Things You Said When I Was Crying

You are beyond beautiful

Never let anyone tell you you’re not

You are smart and intelligent

Any man would be lucky to have you

You are kind and sweet

No matter what a person does to you

You are fun and courageous

That’s something no one should be able to take from you

 

Never let a man treat you wrong

Never let a man disrespect you

Never let a man take you for granted 

xoxo Mz Hollywood

Final Day of Work!

As I am nearing the end of my pregnancy (37 wks 4 days as of this post) I have the next couple weeks to do my finishing touches on my nursery and relax and enjoy the last moments of my life without having a baby. With labor and delivery slowly approaching I am even more anxious and excited to go through this process and start my life as a new mom.

I had an amazing time on Friday, which was my last day of work, there was a St. Patricks Day/Going Away Party for me at my school with my students. After the work day was over a couple of my coworkers took me out to one of my favorite restaurants, Dixie Kitchen, and we enjoyed a great meal and girl talk!

IMG_9502.JPG

At Dixie Kitchen

I plan to spend time writing, working on new jewelry for my business Young Beautiful Fly  , in addition to putting up the baby’s bassinet and bed. The bassinet and bed is all I have left to finish up the nursery so I think I did pretty good with making sure that I was prepared for my baby girls arrival. I often sit in the room and look at all her stuff and go through the closet and look at her clothes and smell them just thinking about how much my life is going to change in an amazing way! As you can tell I am already, absolutely obsessed with my baby and she hasn’t even made it here yet. I have so many plans on things that we will do during the summer and I am so looking forward to that.

What Would You Do With $10 Million?

So lately a lot of people have been talking about what they would do if given 10 million dollars. Most people just want to buy a lot of material things. Yet there are some that don’t. So when pondering this question it took me about a good 30 minutes to come up with just about everything I would do with that amount of money.

So first thing first, I would put $2 million in a trust for my daughter. I would build my dream home and get my dream car. I would invest in my jewelry business so that I could reach more people and make more money. I would start my nonprofit organizations: One would be for women and children who are victims of domestic violence, helping them get the resources they need and to stay safe, and rebuild their lives; The other would be for underprivileged boys and girls to help them with staying focused in school, getting into college, learning about credit, learning housekeeping skills, money management, and having good mentors to help them stay off the streets and incarcerated and on a productive path in life. I would put money in savings. I would also invest in a business or two. Lastly, I would start a clothing line for children.

That is what I would do with all that money. I would secure a good future for my daughter and myself. I would build a legacy for her to continue after I have passed away from this earth.

What would you do with $10 million?!

Nesting… In Full Effect!

So those of you who are parents or have been around a pregnant woman knows what nesting is. But for those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, nesting is a serious condition for most if not all pregnant women.

So my nesting phase is in full effect! I’ll be 33 weeks in a couple days and I have already had my baby shower on February 3rd. I have washed all her clothes hung them up or folded them and put them in drawers. I have re-organized my room to make room for her. Cleaned, dusted, swept, mopped and re-organized the bookshelf and medicine cabinet. The only thing I have left to do is have her father put up the baby bed and the bassinet. Clearly you can tell that I have NOCD (Nesting Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I didn’t realize that this was such a real thing until just now. I have such a strong urge to do nothing but clean and get stuff ready for my baby girl. It’s so bad that I would rather not go to work so that I can clean and get things organized. Ridiculous I know!

I officially can no longer make fun of pregnant women and the weird things that they do and eat. I have undoubtedly become one of those women! Nesting for me is just so relaxing and calming. And you know what, I wouldn’t change it for anything or anyone. Although being pregnant has been a huge adjustment for me, I am absolutely and unequivocally loving it!

Oh My…

So it’s Monday again! If you live in or near Chicago you know that we had a ton of snow and schools were closed on Friday. Yay for a Snow Day for all the teachers (including myself)! I think we were happier than the kids.

So most of you all know that I’m pregnant. I’m a few days away from being 33 weeks. Time is just dragging for me these days. I just want to have my baby girl already!

I’m currently at work and I am just tired and not really wanting to be here. My family and friends told me that this day would come in my pregnancy where I just did not want to work anymore. I thought they were just exaggerating but… it’s really true!

This is totally how I am feeling. I have 4 more weeks until I go on maternity leave but I’m not sure if I’m going to make it. I have such a hard time just getting myself out of bed to come to work and finding any type of motivation to actually be here.

I guess I’m just ready to have my baby and begin this journey of being a mom. I really am looking forward to it!

I wonder how many of you have the Monday morning blues today?

30 Day Challenge – Day 11

Day 11: Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is

So if you all have read any of my previous post you know that I am in a new relationship with an awesome guy. We have only been together for 8 months but it feels like I’ve known him all my life. 4 years ago I would have never thought that I would be here right now, in a relationship with someone that I feel I am going to spend the rest of my life with. We both want the same things out of life. We both want to get married and have children and the fact that he sees himself marrying me and raising children with me lets me know that I mean the world to him. He is such a good guy. I know I finally caught a keeper. And to top it off he is not a womanizer like the majority of my exes, so I don’t have to worry about him cheating and tons of different women! Which is actually a relief for me.

My current relationship is different than any other relationship that I have had before

My boyfriend is really caring and protective. He loves making sure that I am safe no matter where I am and who I am with. Which is something different than I am used to but something that I really love about him. He is just extremely sweet and loving! I love how he listens to me when I am rambling off about work, especially on those days when my clients have had bad days. He knows how much I love the work I do and he is always there with a listening ear. He supports me in everything I do.

But just like any relationship everything is not peachy 

There are some things about him that irritate the crap out of me sometimes but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. He tends to jump to conclusions sometimes about things and has the nerve to get an attitude. We have two different types of communication styles which can lead to minor and pointless arguments sometimes. Sometimes when I am frustrated and angry about things he is super positive. I know some of you may be reading that and saying to yourself “why is this something that would irritate her?”. It’s ok to be positive but sometimes I just want him to just let me be angry or frustrated. Like I just want to be able to vent sometimes and not having someone always telling me stuff. Nonetheless, I love how he builds me up and how proud he is of me!

I absolutely love this man! 

30 Day Challenge – Day 7

Day 7: Your opinion on cheating on people

I don’t think that there should ever be a reason for a person to cheat on another person, regardless of what the person did. I think that if a person feels like they are about to cheat then they should have an honest conversation about how they are feeling to their spouse. They should give the person that they are in a relationship with a chance to know what is going on with them and to fix what the problem is. I have always expressed that to the people that I have been in relationship with. If they ever felt the need to cheat all they had to do was come and tell me and we can sit and talk about what the issue is and how we can fix it. If we decided that it’s not going to work then at least they were honest with me about how they were feeling. I think that cheating is a sign of cowardice. It shows me that you don’t respect the person you are in a relationship with enough to not humiliate them by cheating on them. One thing for sure what is done in the dark will surely come to light! You may think that your spouse or partner will never find out but they always do.