Navigating the Co-Parenting World With a Newborn

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When you have your first child and the father and yourself are not in a relationship you have to figure out how to properly co-parent. This can be a bit tricky and it is a serious learning process on top of getting into the swing of being a first time mom and dad. There are definitely some do’s and dont’s when it comes to co-parenting. Some things that were told to me before my baby girl arrived, I wish I would have taken it more seriously instead of thinking that everything would just work itself out once she got here. Being great co-parents without a lot of drama is definitely doable, but it takes both parents to be honest with themselves and what they want and expect from one another.

DO’S

One of the main things that you want to do when you are entering a co-parenting relationship is establish boundaries between you. Like if you are comfortable with the father spending the night over your house, and if so, how often. Setting a schedule for the days that each of you will have the baby. Will the baby spend every other weekend with dad or even every weekend, if you don’t have your own plans with the baby. You both should discuss the type of environment that you are and aren’t comfortable having your newborn in. I am not a smoker but my child’s father is and he knows that I do not want her in a room with cigarette smokers. We have a rule where when he smokes before he comes close to the baby he needs to take off the shirt that he smoked in and wash his hands, face and brush his teeth or put gum in his mouth. It’s also very important to keep each other updated on what is going on with the baby no matter how small it seems so that there is constant communication. Communication is the key to any type of relationship but it is especially important when co-parenting to raise your child in the best way possible.

DONT’S

You do not wan to be an ineffective communicator and not discuss what your rules, plans and expectations are for your baby. If you feel as though the father does not spend as much time as he should with the baby, don’t let it fester up inside you but have a calm conversation with him about it. Let him know that you would love to see him spend a little more time with the baby and develop a strong bond between the two of them. When you are angry with each other, never use the baby to control each other. The baby is the one that ends up suffering in the end. Do not be inflexible when it comes to how much time each of you are spending with the baby. It is important for both of you to spend as much time with the baby as possible.

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ADVICE GIVEN TO ME

So before I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl a lot of my family and friends had advice for me and what I should do to begin my co-parenting relationship with her father. The most important advice was for us to always be honest in our communication with one another about how we are feeling and what we want for our baby. We agree on a lot of things when it comes to her daily care and well-being and how we plan to raise her. There are things that we don’t quite agree on but respect that we have a difference of opinion and try to come to a middle ground that works best for the both of us. We have similar but also different ways of caring for and parenting our little girl and that works for us.

This is just the beginning of my journey with co-parenting. I know that as long as we continue to communicate effectively, are honest with ourselves and each other, respect one another, and remain flexible we can rock this co-parenting relationship and our daughter will grow and flourish into an amazing woman!

 

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Together Forever

You and me

We’re meant to be

Together forever …

You’ve always been my soulmate

This thing between us is fate

Together forever …

I couldn’t imagine a life with no you

Oh how my love for you is true

Together forever …

Thinking of our wedding day

Brings tears of joy to my face

Together forever …

Spending the rest of my life with you

Is all I really want to do

Together forever …

xoxx Mz Hollywood

 

One Day

One day I will find you 

For I have been searching all my life

One day I will finally be happy

Despite all the misery in my life

One day I will walk with fingers interlocked

On a nice beautiful day with you 

One day… 

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From Google Images 

What I Want

Stuck in that in-between time
hoping
that one day
you will truly be mines.

I guess I have to
wait, wait
wait until time is
finally on my side.

I can’t dwell on it
but,
I’m not doing well tho.
See,
I want you right now.
Yet our time is not now.

Maybe one day
you’ll see
that, your place is
right here with me.

So until that day
I’ll keep holding on
that I will soon have
everything I want

xoxo Mz Hollywood

30 Day Challenge – Day 9

Day 9: Your last kiss

Holiday Kisses / 20091220.7D.01613.P1.L1.SQ.BW / SML

My last kiss was with my amazing boyfriend. I love kissing him. I could literally kiss him all day and all night. He has soft lips and his kisses just make me melt. When he kisses me I begin to feel butterflies in my stomach and my knees get a little weak. Not to sloppy and wet and not pecks on the lips. Its just the perfect kiss that I could ever imagine. His kisses are full of love and passion and I feel that every time he grabs the nape of my neck and kisses me. Not too soft and not too weak. Just the perfect balance from the man of my dreams! The thought of knowing that only I will kiss those lips from now until forever warms my heart. I how I love him so!

30 Day Challenge – Day 7

Day 7: Your opinion on cheating on people

I don’t think that there should ever be a reason for a person to cheat on another person, regardless of what the person did. I think that if a person feels like they are about to cheat then they should have an honest conversation about how they are feeling to their spouse. They should give the person that they are in a relationship with a chance to know what is going on with them and to fix what the problem is. I have always expressed that to the people that I have been in relationship with. If they ever felt the need to cheat all they had to do was come and tell me and we can sit and talk about what the issue is and how we can fix it. If we decided that it’s not going to work then at least they were honest with me about how they were feeling. I think that cheating is a sign of cowardice. It shows me that you don’t respect the person you are in a relationship with enough to not humiliate them by cheating on them. One thing for sure what is done in the dark will surely come to light! You may think that your spouse or partner will never find out but they always do.

30 Day Challenge -Day 6

Day 6: The person you like and why you like them

Well, the person that I like is my boyfriend. We have been together for 8 months now and he is simply amazing. What I like the most about him is that he can be extremely caring and protective at times which is great! He is such a family oriented man and he makes me feel special and loved. He loves playing video games with me! He has a good sense of humor and we have fun together. He is really sweet and kind and sort of like a complete opposite of me in some ways. I am very outgoing, friendly and spontaneous and he is very quiet, stays to himself, and is a homebody. One thing I like about him being a little to himself and a homebody is that I don’t really have to worry too much about other females. Which is a plus for me, because I have dealt with a ton of infidelity in my past relationships. He is my dream man and I know that we will grow old together and raise a beautiful family one day!

30 Day Challenge – Day 2

Day 2: How have you changed in the past 2 years?

I would like to think that I have changed a lot in 2 years. Just 2 years ago from today I was 25 about to be 26. I had just started to sort of figure out what I wanted to do with my life after making a big career change. I was about to go to law school but after doing an internship at an Autism clinic for children I completely switched courses. I was also single and not really looking to be in a relationship. I was more focused on my life goals and my family than anything. After losing my father 2 years ago it shifted the way that I looked at life. I stopped partying so much and started to really grow up. I realized that there is so much more to life than partying on a daily basis. I am more open to love and making sure the important people in my life, family and friends, know how much I love them and care about them. Right now I am fully focused on my career and getting ready to graduate with my Masters in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) with a focus in Autism. I am loving being in a relationship and although it is new I am giving him everything and making sure that he knows how special he is to me. Another thing that I have noticed has changed about me is my firecracker attitude. I was the type of person who was fun and enjoyed life, very spontaneous, but when you made me mad I went from 0 to 100 extra quick. I am a little more calmer now and it takes a lot for me to reach that point. I am very proud of myself for fixing that because that was not something that was good about me. I am growing everyday and I am excited to see the changes that I make 2 years from now.

 

Relationships

Relationships are a funny thing. One minute you’re madly in love and the next you can’t stand the sight of that person. But you love them so much that you need them. It hurts when there comes a time when you need that person so badly but they are not there for you. In relationships,theme_relationships the other person is supposed to be there for you during your good times and your bad times. It hurts even more when they are not sorry and do not have a valid explanation for why they were not around when you needed them.